Visiting hours
My mother wasn't ready to be a mother as she was more focused on her career and the life she had before and I don't know if she thought that Connie would go silently into the night from her physical assault from Paula and my mother's lack of control over mia but retribution was at foot.
My mother was still a child at mind as she was a teenage mother when she was pregnant her senior year of highschool with my sister Jamie. When my mother got us she didn't care if we were anywhere as she just wanted to go party and be left alone. She would fill the deep freezer full of frozen banquet meals as she left us many hours alone. We were responsible for getting on the school bus and making it to and from school.
Melina was always the responsible one as she would be the first one out of the top of the hill to keep a look out for the bus as Paula it took her two hours to get ready for school and mia and her would fight over the one bathroom that was in the house to share. After a while Melina got used to getting dressed without a mirror and it began to show.
Melina 's hair was always unkempt and messy and forget about running a brush through it . Her clothes were baggy as she was growing out of everything and had to wear his sister clothes where they was smaller than her and the legs were always cut to fit them as it looked like she was always flooding in her pants. Her sisters had a habit of drawing mushrooms and penis's on the jeans they wore as it was funny to them . All of Paula's clothes were mid drifts as over the summer she began hanging out with two brothers down the street and engaging in sexual activities with another boy a street over.
Paula was only eleven years old when she was fooling around with boys and lost her virginity at age twelve as she was way too young to be doing this kind of activity but since her friend was doing it and Paula was a follower she also was having sex . Paula had always shown signs of her abuse as she was very sexually acclimated as she was a very fast little girl. From the way she dressed to her not hesitation in making boys pay attention to her. Paula would disappear with her bad little crowd having sex and mia would disappear with the brothers she hung out with and which ever one she dated at the time would smoke reefer with and do as she pleased.
Melina would scream for the bus and hold the bus as Paula would come out of the house still drying her hair and mia a face full of makeup and Ruby red lipstick on. Her two sister were never on time and she had to wake her sisters up as she got up first as if she didn't she would never be able to use the bathroom as soon as they woke up.
School was awkward for her as they were going over things she already knew as the kids snickered and made fun of Melina's appearance as she looked like she was not kept well. A fews remembered her from first grade and made rude comments about her and her sisters and how bad they were.
Melina really didn't have friends and she wore what she had to wear and the kids mad fun of her . She was always being kicked out of the room when her mother went to work at night leaving her alone with her two sisters age eleven and fourteen. Mia and paula would get in horrible fights as they broke things all over the house and brought boys in and out of the house . Mia finally moved down stairs in the basement as she was the oldest and she had her friends over all the time.
My mom had a problem with animals as she would get them and just let them run wild all over the place . We had cats and dogs everywhere as the dogs in the back yard was pretty much wild and not petable. My sisters would bring home animals my mom didn't care . She was too busy to pay attention to anything as she would have beer bottles all over her night stand and would wake up trying to figure out which beer had some left in it .
I remembered my mom taking alka salzer with bercardi she kept in her draw as she would have many hangovers and stay off of work. This was when we were in an if state of mind as my father was in federal prison and once every two weeks on Sundays she would dress us up like Barbie dolls in white and stockings as she would take us up to the prison to see him . First time we visited him was behind a wall that had a plexiglass partician and a wall mounted phone.
I always thought my mother was crazy taking us to see the man who made us go to foster care. It was like something didn't quite click right in her head at this point of logic. It was like she didn't have a single thought in her head but to do what she wanted regardless of the consequences. As I sat there across for the man that looked like he was teary eyed full of remorse I felt nothing except for uncomfortable. It made my skin crawl being so close to him even though he was behind a safety wall .
I remembered what a true monster he was as one time he threw tools at us when he swore up and down that we were messing with his tool box and couldn't find the tool he was looking for. I remember screaming in fear as I dodged tools flying at me as one moment he was full of rage and yelling then the next moment on his knees begging for forgiveness as he opened his arms for forgiveness like a Venus flytrap waiting for it's pretty to let down it's guard.
Even at age nine I wasn't stupid. I saw the monster in his eyes as I also remembered he chased me through the house when I rejected his forgiveness. I had to learn how to harden my heart. I feel nothing as I watched. I analyzed and I studied this man as to predict his next move so I could evade and escape him.
I stared at him in front of me acting all remorseful and wanting our forgiveness and so happy to see us all the while I was narrowing my eyes at him watching him waiting for the snap anticipating his swing. My sister talked as my mom usually stayed quiet as he had divorced her and she was still trying to keep him by breaking the law in letting him see his minor child with a offender charge and conviction .
When we would leave Paula would be unconsolable like she was when we went to see him in the supervised room at D H R. She would go into full blown fits then be sweet and Daddy's girl . During this time it was accustom to have school councilors to eveluate released system children to see how they were adjusting being home.
When my counselor spoke to me she asked me what I did on weekends and I bluntly said I go to visit my dad at the prison where I am to be strip searched before every visit by a female officer and have to sign in at the front desk and then we sit at a huge cafeteria where we bring change so we can eat vending machine foods while other convicted inmates roam free around us as my dad breaks his parole behind bars.when my councilors heard this they contacted my mother and when she asked me why I told them these things . I told her I don't want to see him and you keep taking me in that prison every time against my will after I have told you I don't want to be around him.
My mother looked like I betrayed her for telling the councilors the truth about what my mother had been subjecting me to when she was left to mother us on her own. After that shit hit the fan and I had a really rough time at home . I often ran to the woods to train with my hunter when shit would get to real at home. Paula would throw fits after every prison visit. And I would find my hunter and train to fight every visit.
Honestly what kind of mother allows her children to see the one person who caused them to be raised by strangers for the past four years and the first moment you get them back home you dress them up and take them to the prison to see the man who started it all. My mother was completely insane thinking that was normal to do to a bunch of traumatized children. Your supposed to protect us from the bad people not bring us to him on a silver plater.
As I worked out my issues with my mother and her logic I learned how to use my abilities to tap into weapons as at we worked on bonding to a weapon and using it as an anchor to our powers. My hunter was very patient with me as I trained with him as he also taught me how to track and read trails like a hunter would read them. He thought me how to fight with knives and staffs and how to use my speed to get behind an opponent. I spent a lot of time in the woods with my hunter and eventually I could find anyone's house by the trails around my house.
My hunter kept my mind focused as he trained me like a hunter would train as he helped me develop my abilities little by little. You could say we had a very mutual relationship . When I would go home it would be dark and I would go to my room with my frozen microwave meals and be ignored by my entire family because of what I said about what my mother was really doing with us.