Chapter 12

The next day came fast. I had two classes at the local community college — Communications at 1 p.m. and English 101 at 4. Just the basics. I didn’t have a major yet, but I figured I’d get there eventually. For now, I was balancing school, time with Lola, time with my friends, and whatever “me time” I could squeeze in between.

It was just me and my mom at home. My dad left when I was four and never came back. I used to think I’d get over it, but the truth is; it still hits me sometimes — the anger, the heartbreak, the feeling of being left behind. I had to teach myself a lot growing up. How to handle things. How to be responsible. How to navigate relationships. How to support myself and my mom.

And then there’s the bipolar disorder. Some days I wake up and don’t want to talk to anyone — not because I don’t care, but because I’m scared, I’ll say something I don’t mean. I’ve learned to warn people on those days. Friends, family, Lola. It’s part of who I am, and I try to be upfront about it.

Around 3 p.m., I texted Finn to see if he wanted to hang out.

You busy? Want to chill today?

I got ready while waiting for his response. When I checked my phone again, he’d replied:

I’m down. Where though?

I texted back:

Park? Basketball? Around 4?

Sure. See you then.

I packed my backpack and headed out. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the other guys showed up too.

An hour later, we were all at the park, playing a couple of games, throwing up shots, yelling, messing around like always. Afterward, we grabbed food and sat at one of the tables inside, talking about video games, shows, and random stuff.

Then Jacob hit me with something the others didn’t know about yet.

“Are you going to tell Lola about you talking to that one girl who commented on the photo of you two?”

My stomach dropped. The other two guys looked at me with disappointment written all over their faces.

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I know I shouldn’t be… but yeah. The girl’s name is Evelyn.”

Nicholas leaned forward. “Are you going to tell Lola about her? It’s only fair.”

“Maybe…” I muttered. “I prefer not to. I don’t want to lose her. And if I tell her, it’ll just create new issues between us.”

Finn shook his head. “Honestly? You should block Evelyn. Tell her you can’t keep talking to her because you’re with someone. Then block her. And you should find the time to come clean with Lola.”

The other guys nodded.

I didn’t say anything after that.

When we wrapped up, I told them I was heading home and that I’d talk to them later.

I made it home, went straight to my room, dropped my backpack on the floor, and collapsed onto my bed. I stared at the ceiling, replaying everything the guys had said.

Block Evelyn.

Tell Lola the truth.

Do the right thing.

But all I could think about was Lola’s face if I told her. How she’d react. How much it might hurt her. How much it might change things.

Maybe I should tell her.

Maybe I shouldn’t.

Maybe I should pretend it never happened.

I didn’t know what to do.

And that scared me more than anything.