Chapter 2: Roxie

Dear Diary,

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. Writing to a book like it’s a person. But I was flipping through a back issue of Teen Vogue the other day, and there was this whole spread on "emotional shedding"—basically, the idea that dumping your brain onto paper can keep you from exploding when things get heavy. And honestly? Things are feeling pretty heavy lately.

Tomorrow is the big one. The first day of senior year. In about nine months, I’ll be walking across a stage in a cap and gown, and this whole chapter of my life will be over. It’s a weird mix of total adrenaline and this low-key pit in my stomach. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, and I’m not sure if I’m about to fly or just fall flat on my face.

I decided that if I’m going to do this "fresh start" thing, I needed a place to keep my thoughts that felt like me. I went out and bought this journal today—it’s a beautiful, deep, dark pink. It’s plain for now, but I’m thinking about finding some cool stickers to decorate the cover, maybe some holographic ones or something that makes it feel a bit more lived-in. Right now, it’s a little too perfect, which is definitely not how my life feels.

I’m dealing with so much right now, and most of it starts and ends with my parents. God, they can be such a handful. When they start arguing, it’s like the air in the house just gets sucked out, and I have to retreat to my room just to breathe. Ugh! I’m so over the drama. I just want a year where I’m not playing referee or hiding under my headphones.

And then there’s my baby sister. I love her, but she’s at that age where everything I own is suddenly "ours." I’m terrified she’s going to go snooping through my drawers and find this. Not that I have any deep, dark secrets yet, but a girl needs a little bit of privacy, you know? I might have to find a really good hiding spot—maybe behind the books on my shelf or under my mattress.

I keep wondering what this year is going to look like. This is it—I’m finally at the top of the food chain. No more being the underdog. I want to really lean into it this year. I’m thinking about running for Prom Queen, not just for the crown, but to prove to myself that I can actually put myself out there. I want to lead, I want to be involved, and more than anything, I just want to be unapologetically myself.

No more hiding, no more playing it safe. Just nine months to make it count.

Wish me luck.