Chapter Ten
“I think that would be enough for you, Sagepaw.” Hearing the words from his supposed mentor, Bloodpaw slightly flinched while his body felt numb. Felt cold deep down in his bones. The words that Sagepaw had spoken, the way he had spoken them, it was cutting into him sharper than any claws or teeth. The world around the blood-red ginger had begun to spin, words echoing in his mind; every image of each Shadowclan cat that he had known flashing in his mind. Was he really pitied on this much? Is that the reason why….no, he couldn’t believe those words. It was just Sagepaw trying to get under his skin.
“Bloodpaw are you ok-” Began Graypaw but when his friend started to speak, he flinched at how cold and sharp the words were.
“Tell me the truth, Pinebolt.” Whispered Bloodpaw as his eyes merely shook along with his body, as the young apprentice struggled to comprehend what was going on. “Was I really clan-less and on the verge of death? Were you, Longsky, and Smokestar going to kill me the moment you saw me in between my dead parents? Is that why you and everyone else took pity on me?” There was no screaming or anything. Just a chilly calm which was far worse. Squeezing his eyes shut, Bloodpaw felt his entire body shut down at the single word.
“Yes.” It wasn’t the single word that made him snap his eyes open. No, it was how Pinebolt said it and upon looking up to see his mentor’s expression; Bloodpaw how stony faced he was. There was no lies behind his eyes. No deception. “But if you would let me explain, please, Bloodpaw.” Pinebolt began as he took some steps forward.
“You tried killing me as a kit.” Shaking his head in disbelief, eyes full of hatred and utter betrayal, Bloodpaw began taking several steps back. “Then you lied to my face. For twelve moons, you lied and deceived me with a smile.” Flicking his gaze around the gathered faces, Bloodpaw’s image of those he had trusted, those he had grown to care about; and they all lied to him. “I had asked for the truth from you, Pinebolt, the one cat I could count on to give it to me; and you LIED TO ME.” Again, he didn’t scream or anything. Which only made Pinebolt feel far more guilty than he should’ve.
Flashes of every cat that smiled and welcomed him warmly, images of those looks that stared at him from afar; shattered like a reflection when water was disturbed. It choked Bloodpaw as he felt the hold of utter betrayal squeeze around his neck. Nostrils flaring, ears laid flat against his head; and eyes narrowed and dilated, Bloodpaw couldn’t think straight. Feeling something hot and wet splashing against his cheeks, Bloodpaw realized that tears were flooding down his cheeks, matting his fur and making them glisten.
It was disorienting. Heart and mind broken, Bloodpaw couldn’t even think about facing anyone now. How much more lies were hiding from him? What other secrets were being kept from him? Was he truly clan-less? Did he even have any/had any parents that loved him? Blood rushing loudly into his ears, the young former apprentice didn’t think. Before any cat could stop him, or say anything, Bloodpaw had turned on his ankles and began fleeing towards the east; not caring where he was going or why. He just needed to get away from everyone and everything.
Behind him, he could hear Pinebolt and two sets of other paws running after him while hearing their screams for him to come back. However, all of those sounds fell on deaf ears. He wasn’t going to stop. Why should he? He was living a lie anyways, and they held secrets from him, so why should he care about them? The image of Creampaw flashed through his mind, but that only made him even angrier. ‘Did she know about all of this?’ Thought Bloodpaw as he pushed himself through thickets of thorny bushes, not caring as their thorns tore and scratched into his pelt.
‘I don’t know where to go.’ Thought Bloodpaw as he continued running. Every turn from a tree, everything that passed him; it just blurred away into nothingness. Because he didn’t feel anything, he couldn’t see anything. His mind was still in shambles, still broken on the turn of events. Were they still chasing him? Had they stopped, knowing they couldn’t reach him any longer? Streaks of tears that kept flooding from his eyes, flew like silver droplets into the wind. ‘Where can I go?’
There was really no place for him to go. And it wasn’t like he could just return to Shadowclan. No, he was never going back there again. Sides burning as he pushed himself, Bloodpaw could feel the trickles of blood as the pads on his paws were getting torn up by the sticks and the rough surface of the ground beneath him. But, that pain paled in comparison to what he was feeling. Albeit, he didn’t stop once. Not until he was sure he was far away from this place.