Ordinary (a starfall short)

“Light given, she became the beacon.
Melody remembered, she became the hymn.”
–Dedication to Astraea on the starlit Cavern

Thread One

Once upon a time, the Astrarium sang a song of warm reverence. He knew better than anyone else, because it was her voice that sang along with it. A Goddess born to breathe song into the universe. He had almost forgotten her voice, but as he crouched before the basin, he could hear it clear as day. A warmth filled him as he thought of her, as he thought of Astraea, now born as Auroralili. 

The sound echoed, as if she were in the cavern with him, as if she were kneeling before the basin herself. He could feel it, the ache that comes with realizing that it was possible that she’d never remember him…she’d never know him the way he knew her.

Sunlight filtered through the hazy entrance that he’d opened to get to the Astrarium, and when it landed on one particular glyph, he froze for a moment. How fitting that it was the rune that he associated with her. He could feel the silence pulse through him, striking a cord so deep within him that it made his heart ache for her, for all the things she stood for…for all the things he loved about her. 

He could feel the silence as if it were pulsating through him, striking a cord deep within that made him desperately miss her. Sinking to his knees before the basin, he remembered a time when the old gods would gather at the thread walk, and make the pilgrimage to the starlit cavern and gather around it, waiting to be bathed in the celestial waters.


“They say the holy water’s water down…”


The thought came to him like a lyric from a hymn, a hymn that he had sung beside her, long ago. He doesn’t speak the words, knowing that they would never mean the same thing to him again. He could recall her voice, soft yet vibrant, leading the hymn as the room filled with their music.

His body shook softly as he let out a bitter laugh. He could feel himself unraveling without her, as she was what kept him from falling into the darkness. “Sanctified bullshit…” he muttered. He hated that she had to fall so the gods could stay hidden. But his hand reverently stalled on the basin–his church, his holy grail.

~~~~

She stood barefoot in the starlit current; it was as if the river had been waiting for her. Her eyes were closed, and her arms lifted to the sky– not in arrogance, but in a quiet communion that he was privileged to witness. The water lapped at her ankles, as if it could feel her soul–could know her reverence.

He watched from the shadows, dread filling his soul as he watched her with nonchalance–at least that is what he wanted to believe. “You’ve been chosen, haven’t you?” His voice trembled as his shadows wrapped around him. The thought of her falling so that others may rise made the dancing shadows pulse in protest.

“Indeed, I have been,” she murmured as she turned in the direction his voice had come from, her eyes opening. “Step out of the shadows–I can’t bear to see you hide from me.” She knew he could see the storm dancing in her eyes, even from where he stood. “Don’t make it harder than it must be.” She loved him, so seeing him in so much pain… feeling his anger pulse in the space between them…it was more than she could bear.

The love he felt for her pulsed beneath his skin, through his veins, deep into his heart. The anxiety building in his chest threatened to take over him. Their world demanded that she be sacrificed, and there was nothing he could do. The gods might have forgotten the ache of love, but he hadn’t. She was his world, and he was hers.

The basin had grown cold, and the glyphs had fallen silent. What lingered between them was not shame–it was betrayal. She was his, yet she gave herself over to the gods, letting herself be erased from their world. Yet he rose–because he wouldn’t stay silent. Not when it came to her.


~~~

His heart ached as he–begrudingly–turned from the cold obsidian basin. He wanted to stay wrapped in the space that held her memory. Unaware of why the basin had awoken, but as the shimmer faded away, he knew one simple fact–she was awakening. A chill ran through him as his feet touched the stone–he needed to hurry. He had always known Auroralili, even before she’d known herself. From the moment their eyes met, he knew; she was his Astraea. He no longer knew who he was without her–only that she was what was holding him together–allowing him to breathe. Yet, even though he knew that, he also knew that the proximity was the only thing holding him together.

“A pool of stars,
is what she gives,
so they may live.”

Her voice sang through him–words that reminded him of a time long past. The echo of her memory curling around him, as if her light was keeping him upright, even though she wasn’t with him…even though she didn’t remember him.

"Our colors will fade eventually..."

The lyric settled in his core–heavy with the grief and desperation that came with missing her. It was true, in the way that stars are true. As it settled in the air, the Threadwalk shimmered before him. The melody of the hymn drifted across the stones, enchanting the path into being. He stepped forward and sighed–the ache of walking it without her deepened the hole she’d left behind.