Ch. 1
Jason
It's after 10pm.
I've been here for 3 hours. I've been staring at the ceiling the entire time.
The vibration of my phone in my pocket startles me.
I pull it out of my pocket and tap the screen.
A text from my best friend, Cody.
Cody: Anything?
I take a deep breath and slowly start typing.
Me: Nothing. No word on her yet.
I check my other notifications.
No texts.
No Facebook messages.
No Instagram messages from anyone in my family.
I figured my mom would text me, asking where I am.
Or Kyle.
More time went by.
It seemed like hours but it was only 20 minutes until my mom and my brother came barging into the waiting room.
My mom was frantically looking for me.
When she finally locked eyes with me, she made a bee line straight towards me.
She threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.
"Oh, honey. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry." She says
For what?
Kyle gives me a sympathetic smile and also hugs me.
I'm trying to understand what the hell is going on.
What do they know that I don't?
Cody shows up.
Minutes later, Ellie's parents do too, David and Kristin.
We're all in a circle conversing as her mother is crying.
Mom hugs Ellie's mom.
Ellie's dad goes over to the desk.
Cody puts his hand on my shoulder.
I just stare at the floor.
Dazed.
Confused.
Lost.
I don't wanna cry.
But then I do wanna cry.
I don't wanna think of the worst.
A doctor comes into the waiting room.
"Are you.... All here for Elena Bailey?" He asks.
Ellie's mom nervously turns to him.
"Y-yes." She answers.
"I'm Doctor Nicolls. We're doing the best we can. Her injuries are quite severe. She lost a lot of blood." He says with a nod.
"Will she make it?" Kyle asked.
"It's too early to say. I'm not going to say no, but I'm not going to say yes. Just keep her in your thoughts. We are still working on her. Either a nurse or myself will come back soon with an update." He says.
Dr. Nicolls went back into the ER door.
David had made his way back over to us when Dr. Nicolls came. He guided Kristin to a seat and we all just sat and had quiet talk.
Except I didn't say a word.
Kristin, David and my mom did most of the talking.
I was trying to hold it together.
About an hour later, Dr. Nicolls comes back to tell us we can see her if we'd like.
Ellie's parents went in first. About twenty minutes later, they emerge from the doors as Kristin wipes her eyes with a tissue.
My mom guides her closer to her as they quietly speak.
"Go on, son. Room 4." David whispers to me.
I look up at him and nod.
I stand up, Cody holding me by my arm so I gain my balance. We walk through those doors together.
I'm shaking.
I'm afraid of what I'm going to see.
I don't wanna see my girlfriend like this.
I wouldn't want her to see me like this. How I am now.
I'm scared. I'm shaking so bad, and my vision is blurred.
Cody guides me to room 4.
He peeks through the curtain, where my motionless girlfriend lies.
Bandaged. Her arm is bandaged. Her face is pale. She's hooked up to a machine that's making her breathe.
My own breathing paces.
I slowly walk over to her bedside and sit down. I take her hand.
"Ellie," I say.
My voice breaks. I choke on a sob.
"We have plans, remember? We have to go to college. We need to travel. You wanted to go to Colorado, remember? We gotta get that dog you always talk about. We gotta make memories. We still have to get ice cream and watch the sunset together. We were supposed to do that tonight. When you wake up and when you come home, we're gonna go do that. Okay?"
I lean forward, and put her hand to my lips and I softly kiss her knuckles. Tears started falling from my eyes and hit the hospital mattress. I feel hopeless, helpless, worthless. I feel regret. I feel tired. I wish I had just gone to her instead.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't try hard enough. I promise you I didn't hurt you. I would never. We've been together for 2 years, babe. I've loved you since I've laid my eyes on you. Please, stay. Please don't leave me, Ellie. I'm sorry... I promise... I promise I'll be better. I promise that I-"
The machine starts flat lining.
The others go frantic.
I'm startled.
My eyes go wide as I look at the heart monitor beeping as a steady line appears on the screen. I look back at her.
"Ellie?" I whisper.
Cody pulls me out of the room as nurses come flying in calling for a code blue.
Cody holds me in front of him with my back towards the curtain.
More nurses come running with a crash cart.
My eyes stay on Cody.
Cody keeps his focus on me as his arms are out reached on my shoulders.
His blue eyes look behind me, trying to get a peek at what's going on behind the curtain.
My breathing starts to shallow.
My heart starts to race.
My hearing starts to go muffled and I hear a high pitched beep as everyone around me runs behind the curtain. Then I hear nothing as the world around me just stops. Cody becomes a blurry figure in front of me. I look down at my hands. I'm shaking.
What seems like seconds go by, when in reality it was twenty minutes.
Nurses start coming out from behind the curtain, one by one.
Cody watches with his mouth a gape.
I keep watching him, waiting for some hope to fill in his eyes.
More footsteps are whooshing behind me.
A male voice says, "time of death: 1:37am."
Cody's eyes go wide and his grip on my shoulders tighten.
I turn around fast and look at the man, hyperventilating.
He looks at me with sympathy.
"I'm sorry, son. But Ellie didn't make it. I'm terribly sorry for your loss". He says.
I jerk open the curtain to look at my girl.
Her skin is pale.
Her lips are blue.
She looks like she's sleeping peacefully with Halloween makeup on.
I grab her hand and kneel on the bed.
"Ellie. Ellie! Please!" I cry.
"Don't do this! Come back, Ellie!"
I'm full blown sobbing. Cody wraps his arms around my waist to pull me off the bed.
But I'm still screaming.
My knees give out and I fall on the floor.
Cody kneels on the floor to pick me back up. He holds me in his arms.
He shushes me as I continue to scream and cry like a child.
"I'm sorry, Jason. I'm so sorry." He whispers.
He stands up with me in his arms and I hold him tightly.
My best friend has nothing to say.
What can you say?
I push him off me and run out the doors of the ER, sobbing.
As I'm running out the entrance of the hospital, I hear my mom call my name.
But I'm still running.