A new ability

Melina remembered feeling the rush of the air around her as she could feel the wind flow through her as she released the last arrow at the target as she smiled with satisfaction. When she went to the mess hall she sat at a random table not really trying to connect with anyone in particular. She actually valued her solitude.

Melina zoned out as she remembered a camp she went to similar to this when she went into the system her first few years in the foster care system. As what was mentioned earlier such meeting were to determine possible adoption prospects in the future . It was a way to veiw the children before you wanted to invest in an adoption.

She remembered sitting in a mess hall after morning prayers and singing the Johnnie apple seed song before breakfast at a youth camp for foster children . She remembered how her and Paula were seperated in houses and she would walk to the mess hall that was on the property. This particular camp she recalected was a time when she was between two group homes and no permanent placements were made. She called this time in her life a limbo of homes.

At this camp she was only age seven and she was at a group homein Chelsea and she found the home comfortable as they were allowed to have individual rooms as the house parents gave her a pair of cingerella shoes which was flat shoes with a bow on them. They gave her a small broom and dustpan and Melina pretend she was Cinderella as to escape from her own reality.

This was when mia and paula was with her and they all went to a school that was held in one room all the grades and she learned sign language and Math in a room full of children all in the one room school on the large property. Then there was a steeple that was a small one room chapel where Melina looked forward to the opening songs of this little light of mine. Back then she believed in the love of Jesus and that he protected small children from everything and how she believed he loved all the children of the world no matter their circumstances.

Melina reflected on how naive she was then at age seven after her first foster parents discarded her for not keeping up with appearances of the things that was clearly going on in the house. And how she went to a group home in Harpersville to try it out and Paula hated it . Then she went to another group home that was a Catholic home for girls that was ran by a sister over girls who went to Catholic school. That was a quiet house as there were ten of them in a gated little community strict and full of silence and devotion .

Melina also didn't mind that home. Melina was a simple child and easy going as she search for a home to call her own in every new home. But Paula would mess it up by being her and they would have to leave. She would take small trinkets from the temporary bonds she made with girls in homes she lived in briefly and now she reflected on her life she knew there was no such thing as a home for Melina.

Only temporary escape from her grim reality. The youth camp she attended before they decided what to do with her and Paula had an atmosphere of freedom and acceptance as other children was there her age and in particular a little boy with a bald head damn determined to make an impression on Melina.

Melina had always been able to make friends easily and even more little boys think they were in love with her. She remembered she was seven at camp and this one boy would sit three tables away as he sang his heart out to her I will always love you by Whitney huston as she was thoroughly embarrassed as the other campers made fun of his sentimental gesture towards Melina every day at lunch hour.

He was convinced Melina was an angel and he was destined at age seven to make her his wife. He bought a bubble gum machine ring and proposed to her and never gave up until Melina agreed to his terms. It was enduring even the camp councilors got involved in their mini romance of him singing to Melina and saying he was going to marry her before camp ended.

Melina touched her finger still remembering the ring he gave her from the bubblegum machine that was sizable in the band. She looked down realizing her life was a mess and it was foolish to thing someone loving her like the way that love sick little boy loved her all those years ago was even possible .

The councilors had to convince the little boy to stop his persuit the closer to the end of camp to spare his feelings of being away from Melina as he proposed they get married now as he was stubborn in making sure Melina knew he was serious. In the end Melina had to leave camp and she had to wake up from the fantasy of someone could actually unequivocally love her without consequences.

Melina zoned back in to the present as she watched her class mates talk and eat happily and she realize she was not like them at all and the sooner she realized that the better off she would be.

She wasn't from a good loving family. She wasn't comforted at home she was here because she was needing a break from her eleven year old reality and all she had gone through and seen and been exposed to in her life. She was here to eat three square meals a day. To rest from her life without fear of waking up in someone's anger assulting her . From the love she desperately needed but was denied because she was too honest for her own good. She trusted too easily and forgave to frequently. Her heart was bigger then anyone knew but she wasn't allowed to let people know that about her because the moment she let her guard down she was dead.

She knew this to be true. She wasn't normal child . She was a weapon to be weilded for the amusement of others and this so far she knew her purpose and kept a safe distance from everyone afraid to let anyone get close to her. Because when she did allow them close she was hurt,betrayed,used. This was why Melina's approached to holding people at arms length was best for her and everyone around her for now.

Melina had been at camp Cosby for a week now and so far she managed to sneak away to the canoes and paddle out to the crisp clean waters to have a moment of clarity alone. She didn't know why being surrounded by water and nature made her feel better but it did. He problems were furthest from her thoughts at this point as she began to hum to herself and sing a soft lalaby to herself for no one in particular to hear her but the earth.

She sat there late in the evening as she saw the sky brim with colors as the sun set she found small moments to be appreciative like this to admire the brimming of the sun as it went to sleep as a song was stuck in her head she had never heard before as she hummed it to herself like she had heard the melody all along .

" Come unto me my song I sing , and all the blessings it shall bring into me . Hear my voice and hear my words and follow me as my song sings." Hmm ummm hmmm ummm hmmm.

Hummed Melina as she drew symbols with her fingers in the sand by the lake as she sat on the edge as she didn't know why she was doing this she just felt it was something she needed to do. She looked up to hear her song echoes as the words sounded like it replicated on the wind as Melina never really sang unless she was alone .

She looked back as the councilors was calling her to come and join the party they had in the outdoor privillions that they had put together as the final night before the camp was over . Melina went to the water to say goodbye to her peace and serenity. She knew this was the last night of peace she was going to have. When she first got here she was nervous as she realized all the showers were in one room with only a partician dividing the shower heads and she didn't think to bring shampoo only soap as Ashley offered me to use hers as it was unnerving showering openly with multiple people even though we had stalls . But it was the first time she could shower without banging on the door of our one bathroom home begging me to hurry up no matter if she was in there ten minutes or one hour.

Even under the water and the shower Melina felt herself centered and humming this strange little song as the room grew quiet and Melina realized she was shy and stopped. All of the campers danced and joyously wrapped up their time here at camp as Melina was not as thrilled to go back home.

She wanted to stay here and live here . Be by the lake. Feel the air speak to her. Eat at a table with people who didn't tell stories about things she lived and with people who had normal problems and normal lives. Because Melina all she ever wanted was to be normal.

This was the time as she was walking back from the lake as she had spent most of her alone time there in the canoe working through her thoughts at time and what she was doing . Something an eleven year old was too young to think about but was thinking about.

She encountered a group of boys her age that was in her class as their eyes looked glassy and in a daze as she saw them both want to walk with her back to the farewell party in the privillion. She looked at the two boys she had seen before in school but never payed them no mind or attention. Melina was able to wear her hair down here as it was washed and she didn't have to fight over her hairbrush with her sisters .

She was a little more thicker now she had been eating full meals three times a day and the bruises had healed and soreness was gone where she could sleep the entire night rested instead of waking up to Paula with a knife to her throat threatening not kill her if she told their mother she was sneaking out of the house as Melina's window didn't have an alarm on her window that tripped when she opened it like Paula's did.

It took a few nights waking up in defense trying to defend herself from a phantom knife and voices she became so accustomed to hearing at night until she finally was able to sleep without waking up at all throughout the night. The two boys argued behind Melina as she didn't understand what the fight was about as she left them arguing as they both ran to catch up.

" Melina . Wait! " Yelled one of the boys as Melina saw the fence on the outside of the privillion and climbed on it to sit down. The boys followed eyes still glazed over as she thought this was strange as the both reached to help her up on the fence .

" Your so beautiful Melina why haven't I seen you before." Said one boy of blonde hair and brown eyes she knew as one of the kids that tormented her calling her Medusa as her hair was matted and unkempt as he lead the rant against her hygiene.

Melina grew confused at his words as the other boy grabbed her hand" say anything please ." Another boy said a boy the hair of ebony and blue eyes as she also remembered this boy throwing balled up paper balls at her during math class as she tried to sleep in the back .

This puzzled Melina how these two boys reacted to her." Why are you acting like this?" Said Melina as she pulled her hands back from them. As they both reached to grab it again.

" Stop touching me. I don't like to be touched." Said Melina as like a command the two boys tripped their hands as Melina looked at them as they stared blank at her." Go away leave me alone go bother some other girl." She demanded as the boys turned and walked away from her like they were in a trance.

She thought this was the strangest behavior Melina saw as she watched every dancing and had a good time as she hopped down from the fences and walked back to the cabins area as she was going to get some sleep before she got home and back to her real life.