I have plans for you
I knew when to pick my battles and when not to. I was very aware of my situation of knowing I was easily put numbered in the group home and had to pick a time where I could set a wrong straight. Too many times I was humiliated by Scarlett and for what ? Jealousy and fear she knew I knew her secret. She was a predator and she liked to hurt people who were weaker. I took in account that her upbringing had a lot to do with it but so did mine and the hunter was right in a way. I had to be hardened. There was a time and place for childish feelings and it wasn't here. It wasn't now. Right now I had to be tough . I had to be brave. I had to have no feelings. Or remorse for what I had to do. Because Scarlett didn't have any when she did awful things to me.
I had to watch to see her weaknesses . Scarlett was no stranger to fighting she just made sure she never got caught. She would win hearts with I'm so innocent look hidden behind blue eyes but in reality she was a perpetually angry sexual deviant. She had some real phsycology issues growing up and was introduced to far more advanced things as I was with my up raising. I was taking in accountability that we were kindred souls that both grew up in the same background and I showed her more sympathy than she deserved.
My sister Paula and her were always together and I knew Paula would jump me when she had a chance . My mother made it where me and Paula had to stay together no matter what we were a packaged deal. So when Paula lost her temper it didn't matter what I wanted or if I liked the place we were living. I had to go too because she mess up and get into a fight somewhere. She was the bad apple that didn't care about anyone but herself. In the future her character would pretty much remain the same path with her life choices.
Paula treated Scarlett like her own sister and pretended I didn't even exist. When I thought my own sister would defend me she actually helped the others mess with me or wanted nothing to do with me at all. It was no middle ground with Paula.
But when my mother was allowed to visit after my father went to prison she would be all sisterly and sweet then shove me away like I was nothing.
I remember when we were made to do visitations in the DHR center as my case worker was letting us in to see my mom and dad under supervised visits as she stood and took notes the entire time. There was no sitting on laps or hugging as Paula would do this every time and she would be removed from hanging all over her dad. When she couldn't be controlled the visit would end . Every time we saw our parents during the investigation of the accusations of our removal. Paula would go into blind rage fits and want to hurt every one. She would be so uncomfortable that we would have to arrive in separate cars to prevent her backlashes towards me.
When my father got convicted and sentenced fourteen years . And only my mom showed up she became outraged towards my mother because she wanted her dad not her mom. The relationship between my mom and Paula would always be an up and down slope all their lives. Paula was the most likely my mom in behavior. She didn't like to be held down or told what to do or told no or not payed attention too. But never ever point out these things because it would set off a bunch of unnecessary tempers to be shown.
When Paula chose Scarlett over me as her adoptive sister and forgot me her full blooded sister all together. I wrote her off in my book and I was truly alone. I had no one but myself to protect me. Sure the house parents adored me . I was their little barbie doll with my hair permed and a doll to dress up and be cute ,but their doors closed every night at nine P M and I was left alone with the other house mates until they woke us up at seven A M. After hours was where girls drew the lines and who got jumped and got to have a peaceful night sleep.
Scarlett was cleaver she was always the last to fall asleep and she never allowed another girl to follow her inside the house as some girls would use that opportunity to push you into objects. My hunter had been showing me moves how to fight as I was never taught by my sisters as I just saw them fight for me when the kids at the elementary school would pick on me at home.
I remember my mother sent us to another school as she didn't want us attending the district school we were zoned for and a group of kids would walk to school since buses couldn't pick up students at homes that was registered with another address. So we would walk to school all four of my sister all the while picking up other walkers until there was a group of us all arriving together.
I remember it would be dark when we started walking and the sun would be rising on e we passed the junk yard with the mean guard dog behind the fence and right before we crossed the railroad tracks that was before the red brick house with chicken decorations on the front porch where we picked up a set of brothers that walked also.
The trip was long and a group of kids walking together was better than alone . We didn't live in the best neighborhood so safety was in numbers. We were the first to walk and the last to end up at our house as the sky has unforgiving . One day that dog was not there and I looked around as I was slower in walking then my sisters since I was so little then I saw him he behind me in the outside of the gate .
The dog ran after me and I grabbed the junk yard fenced and climbed to safety. The top of the fence had spiral barb wires and I was looking at the dog as my head connected to the wires and blood poured down my face. I screamed as the owner of the together took him inside ignoring the small hurt girl crying. He muttered the dog didn't like kids and we were always picking on his dog.
My oldest sister climbed the fence and helped me lose from the barb wire stuck in my head. We climbed down and fixed my hair to cover my wounds. We both knew we couldn't go back home with my father there so we went to school like nothing happened. I rubbed the spot on my head where a knot formed from the scar on my forehead where it made my hairline receed .